Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why Crazy Might Be Best in 2012

It’s embarrassing that we have a President who’s every word and action is intended to help him win an election that is 16 months away rather than addressing today’s problems head on. It’s also embarrassing that the various Republican candidates, when not making stupid mistakes, are only capable of running around and contradicting everything the President says like my 4-year-old might do to my 2-year-old.

However, the fact remains that the 2012 campaign is in full swing, so it’s time for theantipopulist.com to put down its hope for the 2012 campaign. We’ll preface the piece by saying that there is approximately 0.03% chance that events will unfold as predicted below, but our hope remains audacious.

This much we know for sure – President Obama will be uncontested for the Democratic nomination and will run a very efficient campaign filled with shots at the Republicans (current and past), and Progressivism 101 lectures on ideals that will supposedly “put the country back on track.” Ideals such as higher taxes on “the rich”, increased government spending, and heavy interference, I mean, regulation on all things evil (like banks, doctors, derivatives, cars, toys, speech - basically everything except government itself, lawyers and unions).

The Republican side of the campaign is a circus of clowns driving around the country complaining about President Obama, shaking hands and kissing babies. Theantipopulist.com has no interest in debating the merits of Mitt Romney vs. Michelle Bachmann vs. Herman Cain, or any of the other candidates because they are all falling into the same trap that is sure to lead to defeat in 2012. It’s the trap of pandering to the far-right Republican base in order to secure the primary vote. We’ve discussed our hatred for the current primary system before, but in summary, candidates need to race as far to the right as possible in order to win the Republican primary. One starts with “I support the right to bear arms” the next adds “so do I, but I have two rifles” and the last says “oh yea, I hunt quail with my four semi-automatic rifles, three Glocks and an uzi!” This turns off moderate and independent voters - the same voters who decide general elections.

General elections have always been a choice between lesser evils – a vote for who you hate the least.

Our hope for 2012 is that this phenomenon is taken to the extreme. Sometimes the only way to get the pendulum back to the center is to push it as far out as possible. Think of the political parties of today as the subprime mortgages of 2006 – they are powerful, arrogant and everywhere, but their ever inflating bubble of influence is getting a bit too big, sure to pop at any second.

To get that bubble of influence to pop in 2012, we hope the most batshit-crazy Republican wins the nomination.  There’s no shortage of candidates to fill this role, but when the primary election only allows die-hard Republicans to vote, you’re destined to see a winner emerge who hates government, hates taxes, hates regulation, hates abortion, hates gay marriage, hates “elites”, hates foreigners, loves guns, loves religion, loves gas-guzzling pick-up trucks and loves to eat extra large value meals at McDonald’s three times a day as an expression of their American freedom. We’re being extreme with the stereotypes for effect – but the more polarizing the candidate, the better.

Why would a totally batshit-crazy Republican nominee be a good thing?

The combination of an ineffective incumbent President and a terrible Republican candidate would provide the perfect window of opportunity for a rational, reasonable and most importantly, moderate independent candidate to step into the race and have a very real chance of winning.

Who is that candidate?

We have no idea.

Perhaps it’s Jon Huntsman once he realizes his social views and his respect for President Obama effectively disqualifies him from the Republican nomination. Perhaps it’s someone who has long distanced him/herself from Presidential politics, but is intrigued by this historic opportunity to take down the two major parties. Michael Bloomberg? Rudi Giuliani? Ross Perot? (is he still alive?)

If it’s going to happen, this person will be fiscally conservative with deep executive experience to combat the ineffective liberal tax and spend policies favored by Obama and the Democrats, but socially liberal - perhaps even to the left of President Obama public views (although almost certainly not his personal views). Throw in some foreign policy experience, or at least a reasonable world view, and you have the perfect candidate to single-handedly dismantle the two party political machine that has grown far too big and is no longer fit for purpose.

Moderate Republicans, embarrassed by their nominated candidate and impressed with executive experience and fiscal conservatism, will vote for the independent. Moderate Democrats, unhappy with the economy and the advancement of social issues under Obama’s watch will vote for the independent. The final push will be provided by the crown jewel of the electorate, the independents, who will vote in droves for their dream candidate.

Now, if we could just find that candidate…


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