Friday, September 18, 2015

Why Crazy Might Be Best – 2016 Edition

Over three years ago we wrote “Why Crazy Might Be Best in 2012” in which we made the case that nominating the most bat-shit crazy Republican would open up a window for a rational, reasonable and moderate independent to fill the rather large middle ground and win the presidency. 

As we know, Governor Romney won the nomination, and as one of the least bat-shit crazy candidates, the space for a viable independent candidate never materialized. 

However, in 2016 we’ve hit the bat-shit crazy jackpot.  If current polls hold (they won’t but humor us for a minute) we could have TWO bat-shit crazy nominees, one on each side!  This would almost certainly leave an enormous void in the middle for a reasonable and rational candidate to step into the race and finally break the two-party stranglehold on government. 

The old adage is that you have to bottom-out before you can change your ways.  We can’t think of a worse bottoming-out than a presidential election pitting an arrogant and brash right-wing reality TV star against a self-identified socialist who had to run for the Senate as an Independent because he was too far to the left to win the Democratic nomination.

As of August 2015, Gallop cites that 41% of Americans identify themselves as Independents.  41%!  That leaves 27% as Republicans and 31% as Democrats.  On the right, even if we assume Donald Trump has the undying support of 50% of Republicans (he doesn’t and never will) that’s only 13.5% of the population as a whole.  Similarly, even if 50% of Democrats provide full-throated support for Bernie Sanders, that’s only 15.5% of the population.  This leaves 71% of the population up for grabs.  71%!  Even if half of these Independents feel like they need to vote Republican or Democrat, 35% would be a plurality and a path to the White House.  

Independents have struggled to gain traction in presidential races against the big, bad and well funded political parties.  But with 71% of the vote up for grabs, and two bat-shit crazy and therefore highly vulnerable opponents, someone would step in to fill the void. 

Nothing would make us happier.  

What if after the next idiotic comment from Mr. Trump or any of the other old, white males vying for the Republican nomination, Carly Fiorina stepped to the stage and said:

“I’d like to respond directly to the comments made by Mr. Trump and Mr. X (fill in the blank for idiotic white male) on gay marriage, abortion, and immigration.  I’ve had enough.  The American people have had enough.  The Republican Party is stuck in the past, unwilling to move forward and embrace our evolving cultural realities.  If the definition of a Republican includes denying a loving gay couple the right to marriage, a woman the right to choose, or a path to citizenship for a 12 year old girl brought to the US by her parents for a better life, it’s not my Party.  Which is a shame, because I am a firm believer in Republican principles with regards to fiscal and economic matters, but I can no longer overlook the party’s pathetic record and progress on social issues.  As of this moment, I’m announcing my candidacy for President of the United States as an Independent.  The President should not be beholden to the rigid orthodoxies of any single political party.  The President should be free to make the best decisions for the country and its citizens, not the one the best fits the Party platform.  So to all of the Republican’s who are embarrassed to identify as such at cocktail parties because of the Party’s out-dated social views, I’d like your vote.  To all of the Democrats excited about the progress towards equality in our society, but worried about passing along a fiscal disaster to your kids and grandkids, I’d like your vote.  To anyone who believes in a government run by facts and unbiased analysis, rather than rigid Party politics, I’d like your vote.  To anyone wanting to focus on our bright future rather than lamenting about years past, I’d like your vote.  I’m Carly Fiorina and I’m running for President of the United States.”

In a contest between Ms. Fiorina, Mr. Trump and Senator Sanders, a Ms. Fiorina free from the Republican stench would win in a landslide.


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